Read: John 19:26-27
23 When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his garments and divided them into four parts, one part for each soldier; also his tunic. But the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom, 24 so they said to one another, “Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be.” This was to fulfill the Scripture which says, “They divided my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots.”
So the soldiers did these things, 25 but standing by the cross of Jesus were his 
mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.
Shelly Golay from Casper, Wyoming got a beautiful bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s Day from her husband, Jim. She was shocked to get them, as her
husband had passed the previous July from an inoperable brain tumor. Jim had arranged to have flowers delivered to his wife every single Valentine’s Day for the rest of her life.
Often when a person knows they are going to die, they make arrangements for those who will live on. In most cases, people make sure there is life insurance or the house is paid off. Jesus had been trying to prepare his disciples for some time about his death, but in today’s text – the third word spoken by Jesus on the cross – he makes arrangements for his mother while in the pain of dying on the cross!
As Jesus is dying, his mother and three other women are standing nearby. “The disciple Jesus loved” (most people believe this is John himself) is also present. Looking at his mother and John there at the cross, Jesus tells Mary that John is now her son and tells John that Mary is now his mother. What did he mean? Why would Jesus say this, especially considering Mary had other children?
It is common to assume that Joseph, Mary’s husband and Jesus’ adoptive father, has died. Joseph is mentioned when Jesus was twelve years old (Luke 2:41-50) and then disappears. Now, as he hangs on the cross some twenty years later, it is most likely that Joseph has died and Jesus as his oldest son had been responsible for his mother. Now, knowing he is about to die, Jesus wants to honor his mother and make provision for her.
But why? Why not assign this responsibility to James or one of his other brothers (Mark 6:3)? But, we know from John 7:5 that his brothers did not believe in him. They did not accept that Jesus was who he claimed to be. They even seemed a bit antagonistic toward his claims trying to goad him into going up to Jerusalem to do his works (John 7:3). Later, after the resurrection, Jesus would appear to James (1 Corinthians 15:7) which may have been the catalyst to his faith. Eventually, James would write the book he is named for.
If his brothers did not believe in him at the time of his death, it makes sense that Jesus would entrust his mother’s care to one of his closest friends. It may be that a mother’s love and devotion to her oldest son created tension and jealousy that could hinder another brother’s care. It could be that Jesus wanted someone who believed and shared his mother’s faith caring for her. It may simply be that he knew the next few days would be extremely difficult and he wanted to know someone would care for and protect his mother in her moment of darkest pain.
It is tempting to see Jesus’ actions in some symbolic way. But, more profoundly, it seems that Jesus is illustrating for us the kind of love and concern each of us should have for our parents. Even in his darkest hour; even as he faces death and is in excruciating pain, he loves his mother so much, he cares for her.
How does seeing Jesus’ love for Mary from the cross influence how you understand Jesus’ love for you?
Are there relationships you’ve neglected or not shown the kind of love and concern you should because of pain in your own life? How can Jesus’ example encourage or enable you to choose love despite the pain?